You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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