He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
