is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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