I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
