I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
