a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
