My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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