you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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