theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't think brook has ever known best
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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