my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Someone shit on the floor
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
