is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
