genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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