it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
