ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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