just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
