I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
