It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
