You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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