please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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