There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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