Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
