i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
