would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
