you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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