My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
