I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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