member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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