I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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