What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
