He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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