I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
