Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
