My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
