the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
