where does the pee come out of this thing
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
