if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize