haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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