Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
