it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
