When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
