I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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