Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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