Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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