Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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