How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
