for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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