i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the day after is always just damage control
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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