I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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