There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
