VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
