But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
