Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
