Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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