so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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