dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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