yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize