Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize