get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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