doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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