Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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