I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
porn star boner night. come get it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
