I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
